Tuesday

I know a girl who is dating a guy. And the guy has an ex girlfriend who is very close with HIS mom still. The ex girlfriend calls his mom “mom” and everything even though him and the ex are no longer dating...He swears to not be involved with her…But should she be concerned? Is his mom being disrespectful or is she just keeping in touch with an old friend she met through her son?


Alright! Let’s get right into this one. The first question you ask is should the current girlfriend be concerned? My answer is, yes. I don’t mean concerned in a she’s going to steal my man or try to get my man, kind of way. I mean concerned in terms of what does this mean for she and his mother’s relationship or their future. Is the mom going to invite this “friend” to the wedding? (if there is a wedding) but you see my point. If she and her boyfriend are confident in their relationship, I don’t think just because the mom and ex are close means that she needs to be worried about her boyfriend cheating with the ex. Here’s where it gets sticky. Mom is mom…and mom is his mom. I think it would be more appropriate for the boyfriend to say something on his girlfriend’s behalf. I think a good start would be telling mom that it makes he and his girlfriend uncomfortable. Regarding the question about moms intentions one would have to talk with mom to find that out. You know how some moms can be. I’ll tell you about my mom for a second. My mom calls everybody baby, pumpkin, sweetie. If you are the age of her children you are baby, pumpkin, sweetie and she is very nurturing towards you. So if this mom is anything like my mom maybe she feels sad for the girl or wants to help her in some way. When you and the ex break up the assumption is that the family breaks up too but maybe mom is struggling to let go especially if the ex is the one doing most of the initiating. Another possibility is that mom wants this guy to get back with the ex so she is holding on just incase. I can’t say for sure if it is disrespect. It all depends on mom’s intentions and her approach when her son brings the issue to her. I don’t think it would be inappropriate for mom to keep in touch with the “old friend” once in a while but there needs to be boundaries there so that her son and current girlfriend are comfortable. It’s hard to tell moms what to do! There is also another side to this. The ex! Where is her mom or mother figure? It could be that this guys mom is the best mom she has known. It doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have to have boundaries it just means that it may be very difficult to move on and will take some time and plenty of conversations.

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