Tuesday

So I am a 27 year old woman and this guy who I met yesterday that I think is cute gave me his number today. Now I don’t know how to date or flirt or what to even talk about initially or if he’s even interested like that. But I think he’s cute, only thing is he’s 22. What should I do?


There’s a few ways to go with this one. The first thing that stands out is the age difference. Maybe you’ve heard the phrase or even the song “age ain’t nothing but a number” and that can be true for some but not all. If you think back 5 years ago to where you were, what you were doing, your thought process at 22, I’m confident you’ll find that you were in quite a different space mentally then…possibly financially too. I think there is a difference dating younger in your twenties versus in your thirties or forties. So there’s that. The other thing is that, hey it’s just a date right? At this point it sounds like you have seen him around twice, think he’s cute, but don’t necessarily know him and he doesn’t know you. The point of asking for the number in hopes of a date may be a way to get to know you. I don’t see any harm in that. So here’s a little secret I tell my friends… *starts whisper (you don’t have to think of it as a date) *ends whisper. Think of it as two people going somewhere to hang out and talk. That will take some of the pressure off. When you try to flirt it can become awkward…I bet you know where I’m going next huh? Be yourself…and if he is interested you’ll know...heck, you may be the one not interested. There are self-help books out there about how to date and how to flirt etc but everybody is unique and different. There is no book that will tell you how to date this specific guy or which dating style is best for you. It may guide you but I think you would be better off figuring it out as you do life. No book can tell you how to live your life, you wake up and just start doing it. Based on your comments it seems to me that you are sort of nervous and that is perfectly normal, most people are especially for the first get together. You have so many thoughts of what if this happens, what if I say that, do that and surely you don't have those thoughts when you are spending time with a friend because you’ve known them and you know what is likely to happen or not happen. The key here like I said before, is two people hanging out, talking, and enjoying one another’s company without thinking of it as a “date”.

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