Sunday

Well where can I start? I am a young lady in my mid twenties and I seem to fail in the area of love. My last bf was the best thing I thought had ever happened to me until he cheated on me and that has left me with trust issues towards men. I haven't dated anyone for the past 7 years (talked with several guys but nothing official). Then comes this guy who whenever I see him I can’t help but smile. We've been friends for the past 9 months. And everything has been cool and we've gotten rather close. Recently, all of a sudden when I see him my heart starts to beat faster. Even when I see a car that looks like his my heart beats faster. It seems to me as if I have caught feelings for him (not something I thought about or planned, it just happened). I struggle with the option of telling him, which could lead to things being awkward in our friendship or I could keep my feelings to myself which I am leaning towards because I am an awfully shy person but not letting him know how I feel is painful. He is such a good friend, and I don't know if he is being so great because we are friends or if he possibly likes me too. How should an awkward love challenged person like me go about this situation?


This truly brings a smile to my face. For one, I love the romance questions and secondly you seem very sweet. First things first, being cheated on does not make you a failure in love. In my opinion, I think it was brave of you to end the relationship and move on (success). I think a lot of people would be like woah, 7 years!?!...but I think it’s good. You are mid twenties now so 7 years ago you were maybe 18,19, or early twenties. To be young and single during that time has its pros. The positive is that you’ve given yourself time to move on, re-evaluate, and focus on you, or just time in general. You even talked to a few guys, so go you! I think it’s important to try. Without a doubt it seems very clear to me that you do indeed really like your friend. I think a great friendship foundation makes for the best intimate relationship. The way I see it you have dealt with pain before and right now you are in pain again because it hurts not to tell him how you feel. I think you should tell him! One of two things can happen. One you get the answer you want or two the answer you don’t want. In this situation, I think having an answer would be better than not. So! Coming to the realization that you should tell him I would say is the easy part. You could even sort your reasons out on paper why to tell him V.S why not. Or just ask me :) and I say tell. The tough part is how to do it. In a world of technology you can get pretty clever. Since you mentioned being shy, I think this may help. Write down what you want to say. You can use it as a guide or read from it. I think this will help you stay on track incase those nerves kick in and provide a little courage because you don't have to think on the spot of what to say. If you talk on the phone he will most likely never know. If you do this over video chat…place it where he can’t see and he will most likely never know. You could even give him the letter. If you prefer to talk face to face, take lead of the conversation. Ask him the questions and I think that might help give you more confidence. Try not to get caught up in over-thinking because I think you may talk yourself out of it. Sometimes you have to take a deep breath and just say here goes nothing, in the name of L-O-V-E. By the way awkward is personality, it's unique…own it :).

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