Monday

The holidays are coming up and I'm starting to get nervous because every time there’s a family gathering me and my boyfriend don’t get to spend time together. I have invited him home to meet my family for Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, family bbq's in the summer, you name it and he refuses to come. Side note: our families live about an hour away from each other! He has yet to invite me to spend a holiday or family function with his family and trust me I've asked. He breaks up with me right before a holiday and then comes up with some excuse. It’s so FRUSTRATING. My friends think he's cheap and doesn't want to get me a Christmas gift but that doesn't explain the other events that don't cost a dime! I feel like he's hiding something or is not serious about me. What do you think?


I think people feel most comfortable to be themselves in front of their family. I understand that not everyone feels this way but a lot of people do. Your family typically knows your secrets and embarrassing stories because they've watched you grow up and just like your family knows you, you know your family. There could be a reason he is keeping you away from his family. He could be hiding something that he is worried his family will reveal or is embarrassed for some reason. I don't have all the details but it could be a cultural difference or maybe he feels his family won't accept his relationship. Some people prefer not to bring anyone home until they are really sure and all the break ups indicate that he is not really sure about this relationship. I'm not sure how long you have been together but I am assuming this has happened more than once...at least over a year. Your friends may be onto something about the cheap part, but I agree with you, that it is more than that. What stands out to me is the fact that he doesn't invite you to be with his family but he doesn't accept the invitation to spend time with yours either. Maybe he thinks if he meets your family there will be more pressure on him for you to meet his. It makes me question where he thinks the relationship is going and what his intentions are. Can you really hide your family and avoid this forever?..very unlikely. The excuses he has given you have seemed to work thus far but like you said, they are excuses. If he doesn't want you to meet his family, who knows maybe he has his reasons but it does seem odd that he doesn't want to meet yours. Definite red flag...more like red flags. So you asked what I think…I don’t have a good feeling about this. I’d say, the next time you break up you have a chance to do something different and not accept the excuses and decide if you want to continue this pattern or not.

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