Wednesday

Hey Erica! I'm tuned in ready to hear you on the radio tonight. Anyway, I'm subscribed to Ify's channel that's how I discovered your blog. So, I'm 22 years old and a senior in college. I was seeing a guy I met at an event at the university I attend. We clicked well and things seemed to be going at a steady pace. But, suddenly we sort of fell out as our summer break began. I then saw him at a church event weeks later and he was very adamant that we go out for lunch, I then agreed and things just sort of fell out after that. He just seemed like my type of guy; he's about to graduate college, comes from a great family, and is a man of God. We went from talking multiple times a day to texting during holidays. I got the impression that something stronger was going to develop with this guy, but I guess I was wrong. We didn't have sex or anything like that, although we did kiss a few times, it wasn't anything major. Even though he gave me an impression that there could potentially be something more between us. We don't talk much anymore, except when he randomly texts me asking how I am. But, I kind of still have a crush on him. Anyway, my question is how can I get myself to forget this guy? I know that's sort of a broad question, but I would really appreciate any form of advice or direction towards where I go from here with my future relationships.


Hey! Glad that you tuned in! (Thanks Ify!) So let’s get to your question. I think that relationships can end, change, or blossom from both good events and bad events. I’m not going to say that because you had a couple of falling outs, that you stopped talking. You could have had no falling outs at all and the result may still have been the same. I am curious to know what it was about though! Why he gave the impression that it was going to be more than what it ended up being? I wish I had the answer to why men do half the things they do (No offense to my male readers). It could have been his roundabout way of trying to play nice without hurting your feelings, it could have been him avoiding, or maybe it was turning into something he did not want but he didn’t want to be the one to be direct and say that. So does it make sense to give you the impression that he wanted something more? Not to me…but like I say…who knows! So you gathered all your facts and information and said ok obviously this isn’t where I thought things were going and I gave it a shot so that’s that. You only hear from him when he contacts you, instead of you continuing to reach out and see if theirs anything there. You’re already on your way to moving on. Part of moving on is having will power. You need the will power to not text or call even when you really want to. Ask yourself, will this set me back or move me forward? If it will set you back, don’t do it. The more you stay strong, the easier it will get. I say that to say, that if your goal is to forget him, you won’t be able to do that if when he texts you randomly, you still respond and chat. Most likely that leaves you wanting more and hoping for another random text at some point or maybe even thinking that you should send a random text next time. If the goal is to forget…forget that number too! Personally, I don’t think you can really forget someone, but I think the idea here is to move on. If the feelings are still there, time is the best healer in all honesty. In the meantime, here are a few things you can do 1. Do not answer the random texts, 2. Ask him not to text you or have some type of conversation about it, 3. Spend more time with your friends 4. Do more of what you love, 4. Go on a date or 2, 5. No sappy music! Thanks for asking, I hope this helps :)

2 comments:

  1. Anonymous1:07 AM

    Wow! Thank you so much. Your feedback was extremlely helpful. As far as an exact reason why we sort of fell out? I truly don't know. Also, what I meant by the impressions he gave me was, the sort of things he did with me and for me; now that I think about it, I guess the "girl" in me overly romanticized all of it. Nonetheless, I am so thankful to have receieved your feedback. Btw, you and the ladies were awesome on the radio, I just wish it was a bit longer. God bless you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. :) Thank you! I really appreciate it and I'm glad I could help. I'll tell the girls your compliment about the show too!

    ReplyDelete