Thursday

Hey, I've been wondering about this issue for a while now. My relationship with my boyfriend is kind of secret now. Only my friends and my sister know. The rest of my family is clueless about this. We do plan on letting everyone know, we are just waiting for the right time. Which seems like it's going to be a while, like maybe 2 yrs on my part. As for his own family, I met everyone. He does understand why. But do you think we'd make it if we are keeping it a secret from my family this way?

Hello! Ever hear the phrase, “Secrets secrets are no fun, secrets secrets hurt someone”? It’s an old phrase I remember hearing when I was in elementary school. Needless to say, I do not like secrets. I think secrets cause extra stress, tension, and can be a real burden. To me, it’s living a lie. I do understand that you intend on letting the rest of your family know, eventually. If you are waiting for the right time, then you will be waiting a looooong time. I agree that timing is everything, but let’s not waste it. You may never feel like it is the “right time”. I think that by waiting for the right time, you’ll always put something else there to accomplish or do before you let your family know. I don’t know your family or why you have not told them, but I find it sad that you can’t tell your family about your relationship, this other part of you is hidden from them. Maybe you are keeping this secret to protect them or to protect apart of your life that you are not ready for them to know about. The reasons in my mind are endless. The other part to this is your boyfriend. I’m not sure how he feels about this and maybe he’s okay with it but I could only imagine how this makes him feel. Is he fine with being a secret? Or maybe the better question is, how long will he be fine with being a secret? He may understand but it doesn’t mean he likes it and to be honest, I don’t think you like it either. I wish you could be free! It’s clear that you care about your family and it's clear that you are in a tough spot. You only get one life so don’t live it in shame, full of secrets, guilt, or weighed down. 2 years is a long time for your relationship to carry this burden and for you as an individual. Personally, I think it would be very difficult to make it carrying this secret the way you are. You have to do what's best for you and only you know what will fulfil that. What is your happiness worth to you?...I challenge you to think about that and make a list. By the way, I am assuming that you are the legal age to date your boyfriend and my response is reflective of that. If you are not, please feel free to write me another question or leave a comment! You never know! Thanks for asking :)

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