Sunday

Hey! So my boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months now. We've been talking for 9 though. He is wonderful. He is sweet, patient and so caring. We're not IN LOVE with each other but we have love for each other. Him and I are past the honeymoon phase now. Every single day we argue. I’m not an argumentative person so I can't handle it. Him and I have a long distance relationship. But here's the kicker: I still have very strong feelings for someone else here where I'm at. I'm so confused because my boyfriend is almost perfect yet we argue. Yet, I have someone here (we've been involved for 2 1/2 years now) but him and I had time. I don't know what to do. I kind of feel I don't deserve my boyfriend AND were arguing so much anyways….I feel we should cut our losses but then again, I might be losing out on something great.

Hey! Thank you for your question. Arguments are not uncommon in relationships, especially long distance relationships. Being in a long distance relationship can cause added stress to your relationship that may not be there if you were not long distance. However arguing everyday is not a good sign and obviously you know that. I’m wondering how long the arguments have been going on but on the other hand that may not even matter since you are saying that you can’t handle it. YOU know your boundaries and limits and if this is something you cannot and do not want to manage then you shouldn’t. Being in an unhappy state in your relationship for too long, is not only an unhealthy relationship but it can really bring your mood down and if that’s the case you aren’t acting very loving or pleasant toward one another. Which if this is true…then what is the point? So! The other part is…it sounds like you are interested in someone else. Now this could be because you are unhappy in your relationship or it could be because this other person is who you really want to be with. Your boyfriend may be perfect but maybe you can’t manage being in a long distance relationship. When you say you don’t want to miss out on something great, it sounds like he is a great guy but the distance is adding strain and stress on your relationship. Not everyone can manage and maintain a long distance relationship. It’s not for everyone. I think you have to ask yourself if this is really what you want. The fact that your are interested in someone who is where you are may be a sign that you are not a person who enjoys and/or can manage a long term long distance relationship. And guess what!? That’s OK! It’s better that you know this. Don’t worry about missing out on something or someone. If it is meant to be it will be. You have to do what is best for you right now and not worry about what you will be missing out on later. Right now, it is not working and if you argue as much as you say, I’m guessing neither of you is happy. It is important to be happy in your relationship and if you tried and you still aren’t then it may be time to end. I hope this gives you something to think about.

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