Wednesday

Hi Erica, So I've been best friends with this guy for several years now and everyone is convinced we are meant to be together. We've overcome so much in our friendship and we have declared that only we (besides our mothers of course) truly understand one another and accept each other. We were always strictly friends and never touched the possibility of something more. Lately we have both gone through a break up and have really been leaning on each other for support and becoming closer in the process. He lets me know consistently that he values me and I try to do the same. Well with all this closeness happening, I believe I’m getting feelings for him deeper than friendship. I'm not sure about him, but I let a trusted male friend of mine read our interactions and he is convinced that my friend is trying to tell me that he wants to be with me, but going with my vibe. I'm not sure how to approach this situation. I know we'd be perfect for one another because we just make sense however I don’t want to be wrong and approach him about it and end up in an embarrassing situation.

Hey, welcome! Let’s get right into it. I think friends make for the best romantic partners and from what you say, you two have a really great friendship. I feel like a broken record because I say this so much but here it goes…when it comes to matters of the heart, it’s a risk. The risk is what makes it so great when it works out the way you want it to. Now on the other hand, the risk is what makes it so nerve-racking because you don’t know what’s going to happen! So when you don’t know and when your goal is to avoid embarrassment, the best thing to do is to ask questions. Alright so, I hear ya when you say you don’t want to be embarrassed and I understand that. I just want to say that it’s okay to get embarrassed and laugh at yourself. Trust me, I’ve been there and even though it wasn’t funny at the time…it becomes funny later. So when I say ask questions, I mean get a piece of paper and a pen and start writing. Maybe this is just me…but I wouldn’t suggest going into a situation like this just ready to profess how you feel. Number one, you’re unsure of how your friend feels and number two, you have a great friendship that I’m going to assume you want to keep. He sounds like a huge part of your life that you don’t want out. So think about what you want to know. Ask him the questions so that you get the answers without having to just flat out say how you feel. It’s sort of sneaky but if embarrassment is what you want to avoid, this may help you do that. If you have the conversation over the phone, he won’t see your piece of paper and if you talk on video chat you can easily hide it. Although all of the people around you think that you two are a match made in Heaven and that the feelings are mutual, it matters most of all what the two of you want. You could even use the fact that your friends think that you are so perfect for one another as a way to bring up the conversation. The goal here is to make comments and ask questions to test the waters and sort of see how he responds. Just make sure to not be standoffish. Don’t do this in a way as if you are not interested because that might discourage him if he does in fact feel the same way. Sounds like a lot of work but the main point is to ask questions and feel out the conversation. I hope this helps! Good luck!

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