Friday

Hi Erica! So my boyfriend and I are going to be starting a long distance relationship next month. More than 10 hours by car to get to each other type of long distance. He got a really good job opportunity that was too good to pass on. I cannot join him just yet, maybe in like a year after I graduate from school. Any advice on keeping the love alive in a long distance relationship? Do's and Don'ts? We've been together for 3 years so I don't want the distance to cause any problems. Thanks for the advice.

Thank you for your question :). Congrats to your boyfriend on the awesome job opportunity! I’m going to guess that it’s a bittersweet situation. Happy that he has a really good opportunity but concerned about the distance and what it means for your relationship. Every relationship has trials and tests. His new job opportunity can be an opportunity for your relationship to grow in a new way. The distance will cause you to be physically further apart but it can bring you emotionally closer. So let’s get to the Do’s and Don’ts. First things fist, no relationship is perfect, all relationships have problems. Accept that this change, like most changes will be an adjustment that comes with bumps along the road aka, problems. It’s less about the problems and more about how to work them out. Communication is a big one. You won’t be able to sit in the same room face to face or give a hug to make up so your ability to communicate is a must. The good news is that you have been together for several years so that may work in your favor. Technology plays a big role. You can FaceTime, or video chat other ways, talk on the phone, text, send pictures, and e-mail. You could mail a letter too if you’d like to switch it up. I think that having the ability to video chat is a great way to communicate and keep in touch. Know each other’s schedule. It can be easy to get wrapped up in your own life and what you have going on. It’s good to keep each other involved so that you still feel apart of one another’s life on the daily. Plan, plan, plan! If you don’t already have one purchase a calendar to hang up where you can see it everyday. Talk with your boyfriend and plan the visits for the month. Take it a month at a time because sometimes things come up. Mark when he is coming on your calendar and when you are going to visit. Mark your calendar down. It will make the time go by faster and each day you can see that you are closer and closer to reuniting again. Most importantly, you have to trust. It’s very difficult being away from someone you care about, especially if you are used to seeing them a lot. Our imaginations can get the best of us. It takes a lot of trust and a lot of patience. Be willing to be flexible. This goes for your boyfriend too! Make time to work out the kinks. When you're distant it can be hard to have the important talks, and then when you visit you may not want to bring the dark cloud with you. TALK ABOUT IT because the longer it sits, it will simmer until it burns. Now I know you asked about keeping the love alive. I got a little carried away with the maintenance part! Like I said before video chat is everything. Send small spontaneous gifts or a card just to say I’m thinking of you. Plan to do something fun when you visit. It also helps to talk about what you want to do when you see each other next. Also check out my LDR challenge under the motivation tab. I’ve listed plenty of ideas to do on there that you might find helpful. My advice is to get creative. Play games together online. A lot of your interactions will be through technology. You could even get romantic and share a journal back and forth. It's all about finding creative ways to stay connected. I hope this helps and that I answered your question :)

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